Life in Ticino
Mothering Matters…it does! Especially when living in Ticino, in exile from your own English-speaking culture. Raising children is double the trouble: there is the need not only to integrate into the local community but also to incorporate the cultural heritages of both parents into the children’s upbringing.
Ticino itself is a big distraction from these tasks: a beautiful holiday destination with lakes and mountains – Switzerland, yet like Italy. We have all the pleasures of the seasons with extra sunshine as the norm. You don’t draw curtains to keep in the heat but rather pull down blinds to keep out the sun! Kids’ food is marvellous: there are at least 20 ways to do pasta or pizza. It is a more leisurely way of life, and we have many of the Italian Catholic holidays, which often fall midweek, and all families enjoy the Ponte – the long weekend “bridged” from Thursday to Saturday.
We have traditional values here: shops do not open on a Sunday. The summer months are hot and school breaks up mid-June. We get two and a half months to find useful occupation for the children. Many local families retreat to the nearby mountains in August and walk, while the sun seekers have lidos and the lakes of Lugano, Como and Maggiore to splash around in. Raising children in Ticino offers a lot of variety but is not without its challenges, which primarily consist of adjusting to the language and the cultural expectations.
I arrived in Ticino 30 years ago, and my son, 18, and daughter, 19, were born here. It is difficult to generalize about an expat mothering experience in Switzerland’s Italian canton. There are so many variables: some arrive here with young children, both of the same nationality; some come here to work and then marry a local Ticinese, or, as I did, someone from another culture (in my case, German). Ticino is becoming increasingly multicultural, with people of many different nationalities either passing through with their work or deciding to settle down and raise their children. The challenges you face depend upon disposable income, mobility and whether you live in an apartment in town or in a house outside the city. You cannot live in a totally expat community here, although we have a thriving Anglican Church, an International Women’s club, the British Residents’ Association and other English-speaking activity groups for support. If you are raising children, you have to get involved locally. Family life is really valued here.
The language is Italian and the majority of adults are obliged to learn Italian or acquire some vocabulary to function on a daily basis. Having either German or French as a second language can help you, in the beginning. A good thing is that many local people want to learn English, but first you have to be willing to speak Italian. Ticinese are reserved initially, but once you are introduced to them by another Italian-speaking person, they are very kind and hospitable, and the Italian culture loves young children. So it is rarely a question of being “seen and not heard,” as children are often the focal point of conversation – apart from the weather – which is good for young mothers pushing a pram. Many mothers take language lessons. Full integration requires fluency.
The schooling reflects this Italian love of small children. The preschool, which is a compulsory part of the public school system, is called Asilo in Ticino, and begins for nappy-free three-year-olds. The regular hours are 8:00 until lunch for little ones, with a longer day for the older ones, who stay through the afternoon and finish at 16:00. The emphasis is upon nurturing social education and development of the child, and the schools offer speech therapists at this tender age.
There is less work on numbers and the alphabet in preschool here compared to my homeland. This seemed strange to a Brit who values the “three R’s” but I have to say it was a golden time for the children, and the experience was excellent. The schools promote a strong sense of community and fellowship from the start. Relationships forged at Asilo and elementary school, which begins at age six, carried my children through their entire school years, sharing values and experiences at different milestones. In junior school, the Green Week is where children are taken on a school holiday into the mountains to explore the flora and fauna, and they have the opportunity to take their first skiing lessons during their White Week. This care in educating the young stands out as exceptional to this foreigner. Many extracurricular activities are included in the cantonal education provided.
Later it is more sink or swim, and the responsibility is placed upon the parents to seek out and pay for extra private lessons to help their children keep up with the quantity of schoolwork and make the big shift with German – introduced far too late, in my opinion – as a third language. After all, it is the major language nationally. The early years develop the child as a whole citizen; later children become just statistics, with school marks being the only apparent goal. This can be soul-destroying for young teenagers trying to find their way. It comes across as a weeding-out process rather than an educational process. There is less emphasis on development of an individual’s talents, which contrasts with the Anglo Saxon approach at this age. A word in favour is that Ticino has a healthy apprenticeship system for those leaving school at 16.
Mothers trying to get back into the workforce after childbirth are hindered by the school hours. After Asilo, all children come home at midday for lunch and have one afternoon free a week. Here the grandparents often help with fetching and carrying and feeding schoolchildren, enabling their daughter or daughter-in-law to re-enter the work force. Private schools often offer a cafeteria, but this is not an option for everyone. A high percentage of mothers stay home. Those who marry locally find their hands-on grandparents a godsend. The cultural attitude was, until quite recently, that a mother was expected to give up work to stay home with her young children. It depended often upon the level of qualifications a mother had achieved previously as to whether she went back to work later and could afford childcare.
I stayed home and involved myself in everything child-related: school activities, joining committees and helping run an English Mums-and-Tots group. In retrospect, I appreciate the opportunity I had of bringing up my children in a traditional environment with a slower pace of life. Later on, I found I had to make the difference to support and help encourage and broaden the children’s horizons so that they were not left behind in this more provincial environment. It was vital to follow them and plug the gaps, and here they benefitted from my education. It takes a lot of effort and enthusiasm on my part as a mother to embrace the new and the strange and not to live in a bubble here in Ticino, for in the end the children become part of both worlds and are more truly European than their parents.
By Jennifer Pappert
Jenny Pappert was born in London in 1957, of Scottish descent. She attended school in Yorkshire, University in Manchester. Later, while working in tourism, she moved to Lugano, Ticino, where she met her husband, a German, and became a full-time, stay-at-home mother or Casa Linga housewife.
Illustration by Laura Munteanu
Laura has studied Journalism and Advertising, and has been working as a journalist and an illustrator. She has been illustrated for magazines, websites, charity and different campaigns. She lives in Zurich with her husband and her 5 year old daughter.
