Traditions New and Old

 

Fathering: Traditions New and Old
I have great memories of getting together with family during the holidays. It was always crazy and sometimes there would be drama, but it was nonetheless something that happened every single year. I have warm memories of Christmas Eve at my great-grandma’s house, playing with my great-grandpa’s old tools, the anvil, and his funky memorabilia. The next day, we would all go to my grandparents’ house in the afternoon to play in the snow, eat comfort food, watch football and enjoy the coziness of the fireplace and the sea of wrapping paper.

Now, it is all just a memory. It was a strange feeling to hear the words, “This will be the last Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa’s.” I had never thought about this tradition ending, so I was a bit stunned when it happened. Anyway, that’s life. Elders pass on and some traditions come to an end. Somewhere down the road, I will be the old man, grumpy and funny, with a house full of kids. It will be up to my wife and me to tell stories and create memories with our children and grandchildren. The thing is, it will probably be some 20 years before this happens and my children won’t be kids anymore.

In the meantime, my children will experience a very different version of childhood than I had. Many things are different for them. Only half of their grandparents are still alive, and our family is mostly spread out in terms of geography. The fact that we live thousands of miles away hardly matters, as most of our family lives in different parts of the U.S. Even if we lived in the U.S., it would be challenging for all of us to come together, and this is one reason we rarely go back “home” for the holidays. We do miss family and the way things used to be, but again, the “old days” are over now.

Two of my children were born here in Switzerland and our oldest was only a year old when we made the move. So this is home for them, and we almost always stay here to enjoy the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. We draw up whatever experiences we want to share together and make our own memories. My wife and I incorporate favorite things from our childhood, and we embrace the traditions that exist here.

The traditional family gathering hasn’t happened for us in a very long time. Instead, we usually have a Thanksgiving feast and some sort of Christmas gathering with friends who have become like family. Some of our friends go a completely different route and spend Christmas with their children at a tropical resort. This seemed so weird to me at first – not only to be away from family but also to be away from your “home away from home.”

The tropical trip is not yet for us, mainly because we are still on “lifeguard” duty with three young children. Also, I find that living in Switzerland makes vacationing seem a bit redundant. However, it does remind me that it is okay to start new traditions, and that the most important thing is spending time together with my wife and children.

By Brian Wilson

Brian is the father of three children. He teaches golf and coordinates a Zurich Dads’ group in his spare time. email: bwilsoniag@gmail.com

Illustration by Susana Gutierrez

Susana is the mother of two little girls and an freelance illustrator.  She can be reached at s.escapa@gmail.com.

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